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During the summer I’ve been reading up on Johann von Goethe. Somewhere someone noted that when Goethe died the first photographs had been taken, but this having happened in 1832, he never had a chance to sit for a portrait. Nevertheless, I tried to imagine his features (known from drawings and paintings and widely available via the web) in the grayscale of a 19th Century photograph.

Given that with a computer one can do almost anything, last night I sat down to see if I could make something. Imagine then that photography had been invented 20 years earlier, and that the famous Johann Wolfgang von Goethe had sat for a portrait in 1828. Of the two images I worked on last night, this one is the most successful.

[...] If you hear low moaning and tortured shrieks coming from your neighbour this week, he or she might be an artist going through cable TV withdrawal (among other types).

This time last year, multimedia artist Timothy Comeau received a grant from the Ontario Arts Council to purchase cable services for eight artists for one year. The goal, Comeau says, was to see what the artists would make if they were suddenly given access to dozens of channels.

“I feel that we’re entitled to as much media/information as possible,” Comeau tells me.

“Cable TV is a library and gallery that media artists, due to their relative poverty, don’t have access to. Painters and sculptors can go to museums on free nights, but is there free access to music videos, commercials, or news programs? All are worth knowing about if your medium is video. But most artists simply can’t afford a cable TV subscription – so this project became an experiment with one person socialism.”

Performance artist and filmmaker Keith Cole used his time in front of the box to discover that he spends way too much time in front of the box.

“I will not miss having cable! I have wasted so much time – I’m happy to see it go. Although I loved it, I will not mourn it - kind of like this guy I stalked last year.”

Cole plans to make a dance piece and “a truly horrible painting” based on what he learned from reality television about successful stalking. He’s also come up with a starring vehicle for his acting career.

“What about a show with a drag queen /actress who is slightly washed up and overweight but whose career is suddenly revived … with the adorable Paul Gross as my on again/off again boyfriend who is from the wrong side of the tracks?”

Stay tuned.

RM Vaughan, ‘The Big Picture‘ National Post Sat. May 10 2005

There was posting this morning on Slashdot, which got picked up by Metafilter proposing a static calendar, one in which every day of the year falls on the same day of the week in perpetuity. Instead of leap days we have leap weeks called ‘Newtons’.

This reminded me of my interest in a universal world chronology, to replace the Christian calendar for academic historical reaserch. For one thing, the Christian calendar is unfairly dominant across global multi-ethnic culture. The other thing, all those negative numbers in BC land. I began thinking about this in 1998, and today I worked out a new system. Details here, where you will find some email I posted on a mailing list in 2001, where I wrote this:

I am fond of [the Christian chronology] myself, and can’t imagine using anything else in my daily life, but when it comes to historical research, to reading history, I hate BC. It cuts us off from a line of events in an unnatural way. I simply would like it if historians, anthropologists, and sociologists could get together and figure out a new system to date historical events with that eliminates BC. [...]What I’m proposing is rather simple isn’t it? Just find a day in the past which academics can use as a starting point for an international chronology, that incorporates ancient history in a positive, rather than negative, scale of values. There is a time before civilization, and perhaps this pre-history belongs in a negative scale for simple psychological value, and to keep our date numbers low (no point in adopting a system where we’d have to write 13 Feb 6,987,089,976).

In my new system, Year 0 is 3340 BC, which was the year an eclispe occured that was recorded by neolithic Irishmen, as detailed here. I chose this arbitrarily as a year with a datable event which was sufficiently far back to encompass most of recorded history in positive values. This year also has the advantage that it ends in 0, thus making an effective year 0.

3. Louie Louie vs. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Timothy Comeau

2. Captions to pictures in a soap opera magazine six years ago
by Timothy Comeau

1. Much to her family’s objections, Lucinda is hellbent on becoming Mrs. James Steinbeck
2. Josh is in trouble again now that Annie is back it town.
3. After each does some soul-searching, Hayley and Mateo reach an agreement that both of them can live with - but can Raquel?
4. A night of loving for John and Marlena
5. Marley and Cindy collaborate on a plan they hope will get them waht they want.
6. V, disguised as Isabella, and Jax travel to Monte Carlo where she finds herself the center of a very high stakes wager.
7. Caitlin and Cole find themselves trapped in an explosive situation
8. Viki confronts Todd after he leaves Tea at the alter
9. Humor is an important ingredient to get one through the day.
10. Francesca and Cole opened a Pandora’s Box after successfully heisting the Rosario jewels.
11. Coles couldn’t be happier now that she’s settled into her new home.
12. Believing Brenda’s life was in danger because of his mob ties, Sonny left her at the alter, while he stood outside the church in pain and misery.
13. Longtime friends, Sonny and Lois grew up together in Brooklyn and shared many memories.
14. Due to Lily’s pregnancy, Sonny’s farewell to his true love, Brenda, was bitter sweet.
15. Kimberly and Rick go to dinner - but each has something different in mind.